Hide and Seek
by Niixx
Summary: After a night together that only Kagome will remember, she runs off, disgusted with herself. The next few years of her life are hard, and just when she doesn’t know if she can take it anymore, her savior comes to save her from herself. Complete!


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters or themes of the following fan-fiction. All rights go to their proper owners.

**Summary:** After a night together that only Kagome will remember, she runs off, disgusted with herself. The next few years of her life are hard, and just when she doesn't know if she can take it anymore, her savior comes to save her from herself.

**A/N:** Since I have no idea what a Japanese family's views would be on certain subjects—or Kagome's—I just fiddled with it to fit my story. Sorry if it's wrong. Also, because I'm lazy, Kagome's mother has the same name as Amu's from Shugo Chara!; just thought I'd clarify.

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**Hide and Seek**

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Kagome shook as she stared at the man sprawled across the futon, taking up all the available room. Gods, he seemed even larger than usual there! He took up almost every available inch of the cushions, and what he didn't, he threw a leg or an arm over, making sure that no matter where she would have laid, she would have been surrounded by him. It was as if he actually wanted what had happened between them!

Jerking her head violently, she berated herself for her hope. He hadn't known what he was doing; if he had, he would have thrust her away from him immediately instead of yanking her closer.

_What have I done?! He'll never forgive me when he wakes up!_

Wrapping the blanket tighter around her shivering form, the ache between her legs brought the memories of the night before to the forefront of her mind, thrusting her back to what he'd murmured in her ear.

"_You're _mine_," he growled in her ear as his arms surrounded her from behind, pulling her with him towards the futon lying in the middle of the small hut. "No one will keep you from me ever again." Despite the fear growing inside her, she followed him, trusting the words he wouldn't remember…._

She paced for a long moment, wondering what she could do, how she could fix something that would change everything in their lives. Was there something she could do to make sure he never found out, that he never realized exactly how far she'd gone? If she just _acted_ as if she didn't know, would he think that any memories he might remember were just the workings of his own mind?

The answer was swift in her mind. No, he would know immediately. If he insisted she bathe to get rid of the scent of Houjo after only a brief hug they'd shared, he would be able to smell himself all over her. They'd spent a whole night together; he wouldn't be able to deny that something had definitely happened. And once he figured it out—which wouldn't take long; he was quite clever when the opportunity arose—he would never want to speak to her again. He would demand that she leave then and there. How could she betray his trust that way, take advantage of him in such a situation?

Sucking in a hard breath to keep from sobbing, Kagome heard him shift restlessly on the futon. She swung swiftly to look at him, disbelieving her rotten luck. He was…waking up. Slowly, but surely, he was awakening from his deep sleep, stretching to find her on the bed they'd shared.

As he had often throughout the night, he was reaching for her. Only this time, she wouldn't be there for him, anticipating his touch. She'd be running through the forest until she found her sanctuary, the only thing that would save her from his wrath when he awoke fully.

When his face tensed after not finding her body next to his, she knew her time to run was drastically fading into nothing. If she didn't leave soon, he would force her to later.

Frantic, Kagome dressed hurriedly in the extra pair of pajamas she kept in her bag. Her school uniform was useless; he had made sure of that the night before, his lengthened claws rending the material easily. She blushed as she remembered how readily she'd allowed him to tear apart her clothes the night before. What had she been thinking?! How would she explain that to her mother?

_Well, you see, Mama, I seduced InuYasha the other night while he was in his full youkai form, and he got a little carried away. Will you buy me _another_ new uniform? I appreciate it!_

Ms. Higurashi would, without even the smallest shred of doubt, freak. Then she would lock her sixteen-year-old daughter in her bedroom and throw away the key.

Racing out of the hut, it took her a few moments to realize that she had left her things with InuYasha. Gods, she'd forget her head if it weren't attached to her shoulders!

But she couldn't go back. She knew that if InuYasha wasn't already awake, he would be before she could sneak out a second time. _I can deal with not having my bag_, she decided. _There's nothing in there that I can't replace. Just some food and some hygienic stuff._

If there wasn't anything in there of value, why did she feel like she was forgetting something? It was gnawing at her, the sensation of needing to go back to get something overwhelming. _What could I have possibly forgotten?!_

Ignoring the feeling as well as she could, she raced towards her own sanctuary. They weren't far from Edo, and if she wasn't mistaken, she was already dodging the trees of the Forest of InuYasha. If she kept the pace she was going at, she would see the Goshinboku in a few minutes. From there, the well would be easy to find.

Breathing heavily as she grew nearer to her goal, she heard a furious roar behind her, much closer than she had hoped.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed that something, _anything_ stop him from reaching her. Anything that would halt his advance on her, she would be thankful for.

Leaving on her own she could handle, but if he told her to never come back, she knew she wouldn't be able to deal with it. As long as there was some shred of hope that he wouldn't give up the relationship they had built, holding onto it would be easy.

_InuYasha_, she thought sadly, _I'm so sorry. I hope you will forgive me._

Suddenly, she found herself at the well, vaulting over the side. Tears filled her eyes; she didn't want to leave forever.

But maybe it would be for the best.

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InuYasha had awoken slowly that morning, truly happy for the first time since before he and Kikyo had "died". Kagome's scent clung to him, as did his memories of the night before. He smirked, remembering her eager yet tentative response to every touch.

He almost groaned when he recalled her delicate fingers on his skin.

_He knew who was beneath him._

_But Kagome seemed frightened; she was shivering slightly, her fingers resting lightly on his shoulders as if she didn't know where else to put them. _He,_ on the other hand, had a few ideas._

"_Kagome," he growled, noting her nervous tremble at the sound of his raspy voice. "Touch me."_

_She sucked in a hard breath, but her hands slowly began traveling down his chest, the touches feather-light and addicting. He could get used to this._

His smile grew. Youkai weren't known for being easily sated, but that's how he felt. Every time he had reached for her the night before, she'd come into his arms like a mate would—should.

Not wanting to open his eyes for fear of stopping the images floating through his mind, InuYasha reached for her once more. He wondered if she would still be as responsive as before….

His arm met the futon with a heavy thud. His eyes snapped open to find that _his mate_ was long gone; her scent, cloaked almost entirely by his own, was fading rapidly.

He leapt up, his heart in his throat as he thought of her running out in the forest _alone_. What if something happened to her? There were demons everywhere that would jump at the opportunity to kill either of them; it would be all the worse when they saw the mark on her shoulder or smelt him on her. Of course, that mark might also be the only thing that saved her.

Quickly putting on his hakama—his other clothes would have to wait—he raced out of the small hut they had occupied, absently noticing that her bag was still there. Why would she be in such a hurry that she would forget her bag? She never forgot it, ever.

Maybe she had just gone outside. Maybe this would be one of those times she'd say, "InuYasha! What do you take me for?! Sit!"

When he realized the direction she was headed, however, all hopes vanished. She was fleeing _from him_. She was going to go back to her world.

With a roar of fury, he moved faster. Did she think that stupid well would protect her? Had she forgotten that he, too, could go through? There was nowhere she could hide from him now; she was his mate. He would walk through hell if it meant he would have her once again.

With his demon instincts taking firm hold of his mind, he raced through the trees, bursting into the clearing just as she vaulted over the side of the well. He let out another howl before dashing to look over the side as her scent completely disappeared. That was impossible. He couldn't even smell her anymore; even when she went through the well, he could still get a small whiff of her. Unless….

Unless the well on her side was gone or completely blocked. How could she have had time to do either? She hadn't had enough _time_ to do that!

With a howl, he tried in vain to leap into her side of the well, furiously beating at the ground with his claws. He had to get to her, even if it killed him.

After a few hours of the same useless attacks on the dirt and wood of the well, he remembered that she talked about being from the _future_, meaning that she was just a few hundred years in time. And he could live for hundreds—maybe thousands—more years.

He would wait.

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_Two months later_

Kagome stared in disbelief at the test in her hand. There was no way…how could she be....

Her night with InuYasha flashed in her mind and she brought a hand to her mouth as tears came to her eyes. Oh, God, she had been so stupid. How could she have not even thought of it until now? Everything fit; the bloating, the nausea, the mood swings. But how could they have shown up so early? It had only been a week, come to think of it, after she'd left the Sengoku Jidai that the symptoms began showing themselves. Perhaps that was why she hadn't thought it was possible.

_Oh, God, what am I going to do? How am I supposed to tell my mother?!_ Her thoughts were frantic, but there was one thing that never crossed her mind.

She would never think to give up the last piece of InuYasha she had. No matter what, this baby was hers and nothing would stop her from protecting it. But, knowing how her mother felt about that particular subject, she couldn't tell her. No, she'd just have to go somewhere for a little while. That was it. Then, when she returned with her child, her mother wouldn't be able to say anything.

Suddenly, unplanned motherhood wasn't looking like something so dark and horrible. She would have someone that loved her, that connected her to InuYasha despite the fact that they would never meet again.

As that thought ran through her head, the faint bite marks on her neck pulsed relentlessly, but she ignored it. They meant nothing anymore.

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_Four years later_

"Kagome! I'm so glad you came home for the holidays," Mama Higurashi cried, sweeping her daughter into a large hug. Keeping an arm around Kagome's shoulders, she led her upstairs to her old room, which was left in much the same way she had left it, only with a little less dust and dirt everywhere. "I cleaned up a little yesterday; I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, Mama," Kagome answered automatically, politely. She kept her eyes averted from her mother's too-perceptive gaze. She didn't want to worry her, but it was getting around to that time of year again and she couldn't help the feeling of depression that coated her mind.

_It's been so long; I should be over it by now,_ she growled to herself, though she knew her mother would understand. _It's rude of me to act like this when I'm a guest in her home. I would never have acted this way before._

Putting a hand on Kagome's shoulder, Midori gave a small squeeze, leaving the younger Higurashi with soft words of advice. "It might be easier if you go visit her, honey."

As the door closed behind her, Kagome tried to stop the tears from falling from her eyes. _Go visit her_, something in her mind prodded, agreeing with her mother one-hundred percent. _It will help. You haven't visited her in so long. She'll want to hear about your day._ While she didn't make a habit of talking to voices in her head, something wasn't the same about this one. It was almost…childlike. A little girl's voice that held a singsong like quality.

Kagome brought a hand to her mouth, attempting to stifle the sobs that wracked her body. _My baby girl…my little Sakura_. She sank down onto her bed, keeping a firm hand over her mouth, teeth biting into her skin. She didn't scream aloud at the pain of losing her daughter anymore. It didn't help her in the least, only seemed to make it worse.

But other mothers in her support classes came and went; she was the only one left from her first visit. She'd gone through five full cycles of women already, but nothing made it better, nothing stopped the pain. Her coach insisted that it was okay to still feel pain; she had been a young mother and had no husband or other children to help support her all the time. She lived alone, far from any of her family and friends; there was no one but a support group that met only once a week for an hour at a time for her.

But nearly _four years_ of such intense pain should have been enough. The pain should have subsided a little, and she knew that the others—some even that were _younger_ mothers with _worse _situations—were baffled by her increasing heartbreak and turmoil. Some had even suggested she talk to a grief counselor one-on-one.

Of course she had tried that! She'd tried hypnotism, doctors, _everything_! But nothing helped! And what hurt the most was that her heart kept crying out for only one person to help her.

InuYasha.

_But he'll never know,_ she reminded herself every time. _The well is destroyed; there's nothing left for him to go through. And even if he did, there would be no way for him to even _smell_ any traces of that night anymore._ The thoughts always brought more tears, more pain. _There would be no way for him to smell _Sakura_ anymore._

It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. No amount of mental, emotional, or physical pain had ever felt this intense, as if a part of her was ripped away, the most important part. It didn't matter what she thought about; Sakura, InuYasha, it was all the same.

After an hour of lying on her bed, shaking with the effort to keep herself together, to not worry her family, she knew what she had to do. It had never worked before, but it had to _now_. If it continued as it was…she didn't know if she would be able to hold on to that small part of her mind that reminded her of silver linings and what would happen to her family.

Being strong only lasted through so much pain, so much heartbreak.

Grabbing her coat, she fled down the stairs, her heart heavy. When her mother asked where she was going, she didn't reply, and when Souta asked if she needed him, she gave only a jerky shake of her head, biting her lip over scars from the countless times she'd done the same thing, only to puncture skin. _I…I just need to go there. I need to go to Sakura's grave and try to find peace. It's the only option left._

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As she got closer to the graveyard, a sense of calm began coming over her. Her mind raced frantically with her hopeful thoughts. _This is it,_ she sighed in her mind. _This is when I finally put Sakura to rest._

She flew down the road at breakneck speed, uncaring of any police that might have caught her speeding. They didn't come after her, at least.

Hastily parking haphazardly across two parking spots, she ran up the hill as fast as she could. At the base of it, surrounded by the flowers her mother, brother, and grandfather brought every week, would be a tiny little grave, marked with a small angel. The ribbon floating around the baby angel's belly and arms would simply say, _"Sakura was taken too quickly, but He needed such a beautiful flower more."_

She'd spent every cent she could muster up for that headstone, made sure that it was perfect for her tiny, beautiful little girl.

Slowing down as she neared the grave, the wave of despair came flooding back, forcing a cry from Kagome's lips that couldn't be stopped.

In fact, she no longer tried to stop it. What was the point? She was all alone anyways, and her daughter lay beneath the dirt in a little casket. Letting out a scream of pain, she rushed once more to the grave, stopping only a few feet from it. She couldn't step on Sakura; it didn't matter that there was six feet of ground between them.

"Sakura…my little Sakura," she cried, dropping to her knees, holding her hands to her eyes as more shrieks tore from her. "There was no reason…you shouldn't have…." When she couldn't say the word aloud, she instead let out another scream, shaking the entire landscape around her. Turning her head to the sky, she shouted, "She was innocent! You had no reason to take her from me! It didn't matter how wrong I'd ever been; she was _innocent_!" She held out the word on a long, high-pitched scream before sagging, nearly falling to the ground beside where her daughter lay. "She was _innocent_," she repeated desperately, though her voice was nearly inaudible.

Then that feeling of calm fell over her once more, slowly becoming stronger, as if she had reached _acceptance_, that final stage those around her had always encouraged her to find. But she had accepted it so long ago; her daughter was gone and there was nothing she could do. So what was this new stage? What was this sudden feeling like everything could be all right again?

She felt a presence then, jumping to her feet and spinning around, instinctually taking a fighting position, though something in her kept calling it useless. _There's nothing here for you to protect,_ it hissed in her mind, her own dark voice, much like when she had been put under a curse by Tsubaki. _Why do you act as if you can even win a fight with anyone? There are no demons in your time to purify and you have no reason to live anyways. You don't _want_ to live._

The thought made her shoulders sag, her body falling to her knees in the grass. Her head hung down as tears came down her face, though she was no longer in agonizing pain. "S-sorry," she murmured, not thinking the other visitor would even be able to hear her. "This…this is just m-my…da-daughter's grave." The words brought fresh pain into her ragged body and another cry tore from her.

Then peace. Two arms had come around her, bringing her back into a chest that was obviously masculine.

"Mine, too."

She jumped slightly, feeling the scars on her neck pulse relentlessly, knowing that voice. She twisted in his arms, meeting those familiar amber eyes.

"InuYasha," she breathed before collapsing into his chest with a soft cry, allowing herself to sob out everything that had happened. Her fingers clutched his shirt, bringing her closer to him as his arms tightened around her. She felt him rest his chin atop her head, reveling in how completely _natural_ it felt to sit like this with him, to let free the pain of losing _their_ daughter.

"Tell me what happened."

Trying to get enough breath into her lungs to do so, she whispered breathily, "I…I went into labor a-at my old apart…apartment. I-I tried to call nine-one-one, but…but…I couldn't _m-move_. It was like…like someone was holding down my arms. And…and then sh-she came, b-but it was too early! Sh-she was s-so small, with these little…little ears, just like _yours_," she cried, pushing away from him, trying to squirm out of his hold. "L-let go! It's all my f-fault! Everything is my fault!" She finally managed to loosen his hold on her just a little bit, but he didn't let that continue.

Grabbing her wrists and forcing them behind her back, he growled to the top of her head, "Look at me, damnit!" He used one hand to grab her chin, jerking it up. "How is any of this your fault?! Tell me how the _fuck_ it was your fault that Sakura died!"

No one had actually said so bluntly what had happened. No one had shouted at her that Sakura was _dead_; they'd simply said that the Lord had taken her, that it was her time, that she was in a better place. Never…_dead_.

Fury erupted within her. "Don't touch me!" She found the power to break free of his arms and stood carefully beside the angel marking where Sakura lay, ignoring the bereft feeling in her and the invading pain. "This is _all my fault_ and you _know_ it! If I hadn't taken advantage of you, none of this would have happened either _way_!" Her hands fisted at her sides and she couldn't contain the tears of sadness and anger that fell down her cheeks. "I should have _never_ wandered off to find you because I thought you might be with Kikyo! I should have _never_ promised to help you complete the jewel! I should have _never_ been in the Sengoku Jidai at all!"

As she stood there, breathing hard, her strength began waning. InuYasha stood across from her, his own rage evident in how he held his body.

She noted the differences and similarities between the InuYasha she remembered and the one standing before her. He had definitely gotten taller and broader, even after growing so much during their year of traveling together. But now, there was no boyish hint to his features. He was all-grown-up, just like her, and more muscle showed on his body, more darkness behind his eyes. Everything about him was harder than before and it frightened her beyond belief.

"_You think you could have taken advantage of me_?!" he roared, stomping closer to her, swiping out a hand to grab her arm, though she narrowly dodged by backing away. "I was a _full youkai_ then, Kagome! Are you stupid?! If anyone _took advantage_ of anyone, it was me! How could you have fought me off, Kagome?" Moving swiftly, he lunged for her, wrapping his arms around her. He easily held her suspended against his body. "You're just a _human_, Kagome! Your strength—even now, when I'm only a hanyou—is nothing compared to mine! If I'd wanted to, I could have torn you limb from fucking limb with just a couple flexes!

"So don't you _dare_ try to blame yourself for any of this! I've waited five hundred _goddamned_ years and my time better not have been wasted!" Keeping her off the ground, he moved to the front of the gravestone, growling, "I was here, _right here_, when they buried her, Kagome. I stood in the back of the congregation and listened to the preacher spouting his bullshit about the _Lord_ needing her more than we do, that her purpose, whatever it had been, had been achieved. Your mother cried, dabbing at her face with that stupid handkerchief you were so damned proud of. Your brother stared at the little casket like he didn't have a soul. Even those three dumbass friends of yours were sitting in the front row, crying their poor little hearts out.

"But _you_ never came! _You_ hurt too much to even be in the same _city_ as this place! But you never came to your mate! You _never once_ tried to go to me beyond the well or to find me in your time. You ran away, scared shitless because _you'd taken advantage of me_!"

"I couldn't be here, watching them put _my baby_—"

"_Our baby_! And I don't blame you for not being here; I could hardly stand it, and I hadn't even known about her until I visited your family's shrine and found them gone. I followed their scent here and found out that _my daughter_ was being buried in _your _family plot! I can't imagine what you, her mother, were going through." With a sudden change of demeanor, he dropped his forehead to hers, murmuring, "It only gets worse, Kagome. Any pain in your life will only be amplified until you let me comfort you. It's what mates _do_. No one else will be able to make you feel better; no one else will be able to stop your tears."

She watched those vibrant eyes and breathed, "But it hurts so _much_; what am I supposed to do?"

"Tell me about her."

She knew immediately what he meant, just as it had always been between them. "She hated it when I did my homework. I would sit at my desk, doing my math, and she would kick me like I was a soccer ball. Oh, but she loved Ramen!" She gave a small laugh. "I craved it morning, noon, and night. Luckily, it's pretty cheap; I could afford it on my salary. And when she was born…InuYasha, she had the most beautiful blue eyes. And a gorgeous smile. She was so happy even though…even though she was…was…." She tried to hold back a sob.

"It's okay," he whispered into her hair, sitting down on the ground with her in his lap. "Take as much time as you need. We've got all the time in the world."

She took a deep breath, continuing. Looking up, she took off the beanie covering his head, watching his ears pop up out of his thick—and still long—silver-white hair. "She had your hair…your ears." She absently stroked one with her index finger. "Everything about her was the perfect mix of both you and me. She was…_perfect_." She smiled past the tears up at him. "Oh, but she would have loved you. When I was finally too big to get out of bed for the most part, a couple of guys from my class would drop off my books." She gave a watery laugh. "She didn't like that _at all_ and would kick my bladder until I finally had to usher them out or pee my pants."

"Definitely my daughter."

"Oh, but there was this one time…."

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The day went on and on as Kagome told InuYasha everything she could think of about their darling baby girl, who watched above them, saying in her little girl, singsong voice, "I did it for Dad, Mom."

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_Okay, okay, a little sappy, but I just felt like this had to come out. I've been thinking about writing it for God knows how long and now it's finally out.  
Review, por favor!  
**Niixx**_


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